HSNID Award: Most Intelligent

And this month's HSNID Award goes to Sheldon Cooper, PH.D masterfully portrayed by Jim Parsons!

Big Bang Theory's most intelligent nerd has earned the attention of NID. With his effervescent vocabulary, obssessive compulsive pet peeves, and his complete lack of understanding for the simple and mundane, no nerd has ever deserved a greater need to be recognized.

We here at NID recognize Dr. Cooper and hail him.

HSNID AWARD: Most Cool Nerd

This month's award of recognition goes to Brent Spiner who is, without a doubt, the COOLEST nerd around! With roles like Lieutenant Commander Data from Star Trek and Dr. Brackish Okun in Independence Day Spiner gives nerds everywhere hope that it is possible to be both nerdy and COOL! Thank you, Mr. Spiner, for your contribution to Nerdom!

NERDS, GEEKS, AND DORKS: WHERE DO YOU STAND?

While hypothisizing with my co-founder about nerds the other day we came to an impass. On what ranking does a nerd stop being a nerd and become a geek? Where does dork fall? For this reason we have invented a system simply to rank the level of nerdism within someone.

Nerd - You're on the edge. You pursuit intellect and you are more interested in National Geographic than Sports Illustrated. You catch yourself more than occassionally watching the History channel and using phrases like, "This is so cool!" or "Oh my God!" You're not so far gone that you question where you stand. There may be some doubt. You just might be a nerd . . . in denial.

Geek - You've crossed over. You know where you stand. You own the pocket protector. You wear glasses with the head band that secures them in place because you know the fundamental problem with contact lenses and are not willing to sacrifice your eyes for an appearance. You embrace your adoration for science, history, and math and above all, have given up hiding it. You are no longer a closet nerd.

Dork - You're so far gone it's just not cool anymore.

PS - The fact that I think having the periodic table included in the dictionary is cool, is nerdy.

MIXED UP NUTS

A peanut is not a nut. You've heard someone tell you this at some point. So what is it? The nerd wanna-be's will tell you wisely that a peanut is really a legume. But it takes a REAL nerd to tell you WHAT exactly a legume is!
THAT is why I am here. To tell you that a legume is a cluster of seeds that grow together in a pod or shell. Like peas or beans. In this case peanuts! A nut is a shell or capsule that contains simply one seed. A walnut or hickory nut.
So really, scientists have classified our beloved peanut alongside the pea pod and lima bean. Instead of it's cousin chestnut or cashew.

SANCTUARY IN THE RUBIX CUBE

I don't do well with large crowds or people I don't know. I prefer to stay to my own. So Thanksgiving, I dreaded. I arrived with nerves flooding my brain with signals to panic. I settled once I arrived to find only my sister and step-mother there. My brain calmed my nerves. I was safe . . . for now.
I passed the morning quickly as I visited and checked with my children periodically. All was well. Until the announcement was made. My step-mom called to my sister, "We gonna go pick up my sister and her family now. Come with me."
My ears alerted my brain to this new set of events which passed the news onto my nerves. And then, I did the next best thing. I reached for the rubix cube. I sat down onto the kitchen floor beside my son and drowned myself in tiny squares of yellow, blue, red, and green.

It wasn't long before I was hooked. Must solve NOW! I riddled. I twisted. Reasoned and manipulated. MUST SOLVE RUBIX CUBE!!

My step-mom and sister walked in the door followed by four strangers. My brain blocked all out, but the block in my hand. "I will not rest until I beat THE BLOCK! I am smarter than YOU!!" I proclaim to the block -- oblivious to all others in the room.
I continued my maze of twists and turns. Able to complete one side of the mocking colors. After an hour I abandon reason and look for patterns. Rotate. Turn clockwise. Rotate. Turn clockwise. Rotate. Turn clockwise.

My sister's voice cuts through my plans. "DINNER'S READY!! You're never going to solve that!" I glare at her with loathing from all the love for her I can muster.

"BLASPHEMER!!!" I shout. Suddenly, she rips the puzzle out of my hand and my brain plunges into a fit of panic. "Nooooooooooooooo!! Must solve . . . RUBIX CUBE! I almost . . . had . . . "

My sister laughed at my weakness. "It's only a small one!"

My hands sent the alert to my brain. The alarm was set off and I was plunged into panic mode. Thanksgiving dinner, I now must face. I gasped. Oxygen! Must have rubix cube! Must have SANCTUARY!!

HSNID AWARD: Most Loveable Nerd

The society recognizes RICK MORANIS as November's Celebrity nerd. With roles like Wayne Szalinski (Honey I Shrunk Series), Louis Tully (Ghostbusters), and Seymour Krelborn (Little Shop Of Horrors) no one makes a more loveable nerd. Thank you Mr. Moranis for the archetype you have given to nerd-dom EVERYWHERE.

Look for the next HSNID recognition award on December 1st: The Coolest Nerd

Nerds in the Kitchen

I love this time of the year. Some people get all excited because it means an approaching holiday season but for me it is something more. It is the time of year to bake! Unfortunately, because my kitchen is roughly the size of a shoe box and cannot accommodate my frenzy, I lugged half of my kitchen on a city bus across town to a friend's house, an endeavor I can assure you that was not easy. Let the fun begin. Let's see on the menu that afternoon: a pound cake, 2 cheesecakes, and 2 pies. Piece of cake, we said! We have it planned. We are organized. We are nerds, we are smarter than the kitchen! Let's get to work! Hours later, the two of us stood dumbfounded by the oven's door watching a black cloud rise toward her ceiling and billow outward. Mouths agape, we saw little flames dancing in the oven on the burners, and black covered dishes that we assumed were our cakes. "Hmmm, " she said musingly. "Smoke really does billow." Coughing vigorously, I nodded. "I have a plan. Let's take a knife and cut out the burnt parts, no one will ever know the difference! Especially if we cover it in tons of frosting!!!" Time will only tell.