HSNID AWARD: Most Cool Nerd

This month's award of recognition goes to Brent Spiner who is, without a doubt, the COOLEST nerd around! With roles like Lieutenant Commander Data from Star Trek and Dr. Brackish Okun in Independence Day Spiner gives nerds everywhere hope that it is possible to be both nerdy and COOL! Thank you, Mr. Spiner, for your contribution to Nerdom!

NERDS, GEEKS, AND DORKS: WHERE DO YOU STAND?

While hypothisizing with my co-founder about nerds the other day we came to an impass. On what ranking does a nerd stop being a nerd and become a geek? Where does dork fall? For this reason we have invented a system simply to rank the level of nerdism within someone.

Nerd - You're on the edge. You pursuit intellect and you are more interested in National Geographic than Sports Illustrated. You catch yourself more than occassionally watching the History channel and using phrases like, "This is so cool!" or "Oh my God!" You're not so far gone that you question where you stand. There may be some doubt. You just might be a nerd . . . in denial.

Geek - You've crossed over. You know where you stand. You own the pocket protector. You wear glasses with the head band that secures them in place because you know the fundamental problem with contact lenses and are not willing to sacrifice your eyes for an appearance. You embrace your adoration for science, history, and math and above all, have given up hiding it. You are no longer a closet nerd.

Dork - You're so far gone it's just not cool anymore.

PS - The fact that I think having the periodic table included in the dictionary is cool, is nerdy.

MIXED UP NUTS

A peanut is not a nut. You've heard someone tell you this at some point. So what is it? The nerd wanna-be's will tell you wisely that a peanut is really a legume. But it takes a REAL nerd to tell you WHAT exactly a legume is!
THAT is why I am here. To tell you that a legume is a cluster of seeds that grow together in a pod or shell. Like peas or beans. In this case peanuts! A nut is a shell or capsule that contains simply one seed. A walnut or hickory nut.
So really, scientists have classified our beloved peanut alongside the pea pod and lima bean. Instead of it's cousin chestnut or cashew.

SANCTUARY IN THE RUBIX CUBE

I don't do well with large crowds or people I don't know. I prefer to stay to my own. So Thanksgiving, I dreaded. I arrived with nerves flooding my brain with signals to panic. I settled once I arrived to find only my sister and step-mother there. My brain calmed my nerves. I was safe . . . for now.
I passed the morning quickly as I visited and checked with my children periodically. All was well. Until the announcement was made. My step-mom called to my sister, "We gonna go pick up my sister and her family now. Come with me."
My ears alerted my brain to this new set of events which passed the news onto my nerves. And then, I did the next best thing. I reached for the rubix cube. I sat down onto the kitchen floor beside my son and drowned myself in tiny squares of yellow, blue, red, and green.

It wasn't long before I was hooked. Must solve NOW! I riddled. I twisted. Reasoned and manipulated. MUST SOLVE RUBIX CUBE!!

My step-mom and sister walked in the door followed by four strangers. My brain blocked all out, but the block in my hand. "I will not rest until I beat THE BLOCK! I am smarter than YOU!!" I proclaim to the block -- oblivious to all others in the room.
I continued my maze of twists and turns. Able to complete one side of the mocking colors. After an hour I abandon reason and look for patterns. Rotate. Turn clockwise. Rotate. Turn clockwise. Rotate. Turn clockwise.

My sister's voice cuts through my plans. "DINNER'S READY!! You're never going to solve that!" I glare at her with loathing from all the love for her I can muster.

"BLASPHEMER!!!" I shout. Suddenly, she rips the puzzle out of my hand and my brain plunges into a fit of panic. "Nooooooooooooooo!! Must solve . . . RUBIX CUBE! I almost . . . had . . . "

My sister laughed at my weakness. "It's only a small one!"

My hands sent the alert to my brain. The alarm was set off and I was plunged into panic mode. Thanksgiving dinner, I now must face. I gasped. Oxygen! Must have rubix cube! Must have SANCTUARY!!

HSNID AWARD: Most Loveable Nerd

The society recognizes RICK MORANIS as November's Celebrity nerd. With roles like Wayne Szalinski (Honey I Shrunk Series), Louis Tully (Ghostbusters), and Seymour Krelborn (Little Shop Of Horrors) no one makes a more loveable nerd. Thank you Mr. Moranis for the archetype you have given to nerd-dom EVERYWHERE.

Look for the next HSNID recognition award on December 1st: The Coolest Nerd

Nerds in the Kitchen

I love this time of the year. Some people get all excited because it means an approaching holiday season but for me it is something more. It is the time of year to bake! Unfortunately, because my kitchen is roughly the size of a shoe box and cannot accommodate my frenzy, I lugged half of my kitchen on a city bus across town to a friend's house, an endeavor I can assure you that was not easy. Let the fun begin. Let's see on the menu that afternoon: a pound cake, 2 cheesecakes, and 2 pies. Piece of cake, we said! We have it planned. We are organized. We are nerds, we are smarter than the kitchen! Let's get to work! Hours later, the two of us stood dumbfounded by the oven's door watching a black cloud rise toward her ceiling and billow outward. Mouths agape, we saw little flames dancing in the oven on the burners, and black covered dishes that we assumed were our cakes. "Hmmm, " she said musingly. "Smoke really does billow." Coughing vigorously, I nodded. "I have a plan. Let's take a knife and cut out the burnt parts, no one will ever know the difference! Especially if we cover it in tons of frosting!!!" Time will only tell.

Oh The Things You Will Hear

"A STETHESCOPE!"
I had spent my whole life wanting a stethescope to play with. So many things I could listen to. I quick, grabbed the stethescope from my friend and ran to the tv to hear it buzz. Then onto my cat's heart, my children's, and my own. And onto my foot. I wanted to see if I could hear my pulse in my foot. This September I discovered that the pulse can be detected on the top of the foot!
I placed the stethescope onto the refrigerator. I hadn't had this much fun since I looked at my scabs through my magnifying glass!

Duct Tape

The force is just like duct tape. There is a light side and a dark side. The only difference is "May the force be with you" sound a lot better than "May you be surrounded by duct tape".

Spider Man Dialogues

Have you ever noticed that the biceps on Spider man costumes are bulging!? I mean, I saw the three Spider man films. I don't remember ONCE seeing Tobey McGuire squished into bulging biceps. These costumes look like The Incredible Hulk left Peter Parker his bulging biceps! - Have you ever noticed

Couch Findings: Chapter One

November 14, 2007

MY ADVENTURE BEGINS

Today I began my expedition into, behind, and under the couch. I wandered far, dug deep, and moved furniture. My discoveries today consist of a dirty desert plate, a map of Syracuse, a broken Halloween yo-yo, a pony tail holder, a purple, floral hair clip, and a plastic razor cover. Ooooh! I must say that I am thoroughly dissapointed to find no loose change. I have high high hopes that tomorrow my expedition will lead me on to greater discoveries. But one never can tell.

- The Founder
PS - I need to vacuum.

Couch Findings: Introduction

I would like to begin a new chapter of my nerdisms entitled "Things I have found under my couch". What place anywhere else in the world is subjected to such new findings that change daily. Not to mention how many times have you REALLY lost your KEYS in the couch. I, for one, have not. Now the remote on the other hand . . . . We shall see.

- The Founder

Calling all Nerds!

After we launched this blog, I had to call my father and invite him to be a member of our society. I even asked for the customary $ 5.00 donation and offered to send him a laminate card. What was his reaction? "I am not in denial, " he said. " I am a nerd and proud of it!". He gave the phone back to my mother. She laughed hysterically.

We know you are out there. I know a few at work that are N.I.Ds. (I just won't call them a NID to their face, some people are sensitive you know.) You hear us in the movie theatre making commentary about the inaccuracies of the film under our breathes. You see us in the grocery story persuading whomever would listen about the nutritional value of the product or the enviornmental impact of the packaging. We correct your grammar. We take delight in fantasy. We LOVE our SUPER HEROS. (i for one, have a proud collection of Super Hero tee-shirts!). So if you are out there, don't be shy. Post. We want to hear from you. We want you to know we are here to support you too. You are not a freak. You are just a Nerd that is in Denial.

WELCOME

Are you having problems coming to grips with the reality you have created for yourself? Do you find yourself comprehending words such as hemidemisemiquaver or otorhinolaryngology? NOT TO FEAR! Here is the place for you. Here you will find yourself subjected to others just like you who have difficulty admitting that they are indeed nerds. Or people who have just not gathered the strength to succumb to such a defining term.
So whether you've found yourself gawked at for using words larger than most people's brain capacity or if you just don't seem to fit in anywhere else, WELCOME and find a place where the weak of mind won't be found.

- the founder